


I will always find you

by Justafewthingstosay



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, The Blade of Mamora, thulaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 14:23:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12060795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justafewthingstosay/pseuds/Justafewthingstosay
Summary: There are forces in this universe that cannot be explained. There are gravitational forces that just don't make sense. There was always a force that pulled Ulaz and Thace toward each other, some people would say that they were made from the same stardust and their atoms missed each other, other people would call it soulmates.But they didn't care what other people called it. They called it happiness.And they knew that even in the mess of this universe, they would always find each other.





	I will always find you

Thace straightened his back, walking through the long hallways of the Galra fighter. He had been positioned here a few months ago, he had been ecstatic in the beginning because he was on the same fighter as Ulaz, but now he hated it. They were so close and still couldn’t spend any time with each other. At least when they were far away from each other the longing wasn’t haunted by the feeling that they could be doing better things with their time. 

 

When there was a fight in the arena, they tried to sit with their groups, but Thace could feel Ulaz’s gaze on him, wishing that he could hold him, kiss him. Promise him that everything was going to be okay.

 

Once we’re back home. That’s what they always told each other. As soon as they got back to the Blade of Mamora, they would be off the hook for a while. Then they would have enough time and energy to spend time together. Every holiday they got felt like their honeymoon. 

 

At the thought of their honeymoon, Thace could feel a small smile creep onto his face, he quickly pushed it off his face, he couldn’t be walking around, wearing a smile of a child in a sweet store. 

 

As he turned a left corner, he walked towards the small group of galra soldiers that called him down. They were standing in front of a small cell, he could hear doctors inside. 

“Probably one of the prisoners,” Thace thought as he saluted and got pushed through the small group into the room.

 

It was a normal operation room, one of Haggar’s ‘Toys’ was lying on the table, his face glazed, sweaty. His eyes closed and a big wound over the bridge of his nose. Thace felt a sharp pain in his chest, he wasn’t going to miss this. He wasn’t going to miss hearing their screams as they died in the arena, or their teary cries in the middle of the night, plagued by nightmares that he didn’t even want to imagine. 

 

As he heard a voice, he pulled his gaze from the body and he was faced with the most beautiful person in the universe. Ulaz was standing in front of him, half of his face hidden behind a mask, his yellow eyes meeting his and Thace could tell that he was smiling under his mask. 

 

“Ulaz, why have you called me here?” Thace said, his voice as cold and uncaring as possible. The smile didn’t fall from Ulaz’s eyes. 

 

“Commander Thace, we’ve had a little situation with one of the experiments. He tried to attack one of the guards.” HIs voice was kept cold, hard. Professional. 

 

“I will assign more guards to your quadrant,” Thace said quickly, his heart was beating faster as he watched Ulaz’s face shift, his ears twitching, the small smile that was on his lips. The swift and quick movements of his slim, muscular body. Ulaz was beautiful, Thace had always known that, but sometimes it felt like his beauty was a punch into Thace’s face. 

 

Thace’s starring was stopped by Ulaz speaking up,”Would you please leave me and Commander Thace alone while I discuss the status of our experiment with him?” His voice was deep, hard, but Thace could tell that there was a small happiness in it. An anticipation. 

 

All the guards saluted, before leaving the room and closing the door. The man was lying on the table, his left arm a stump, the muzzle lying next to the table that he was on. 

 

“What species is he ?” Thace asked the person looked like he was a mix of Altaen and something else. His ears weren’t pointy,  but instead, they were round, smaller than Altaen’s as well. 

 

“We do not know, but he has obviously responded to Haggar positively.” Ulaz slowly crossed the room so he stood beside Thace, their hands brushed for a second, before Thace quickly intertwined their fingers, seeing the tension leave Ulaz’s face as soon as he gave it a tight squeeze. 

 

“Obviously? He lost his arm,” Thace pointed out.

 

“Well, yes he did. But we are working on a prosthetic for him. As soon as he has that, I can send him on his way,” Ulaz smiled, knowing that he would free this man. 

 

There was a longer, comfortable silence between them, just enjoying each others company, until Ulaz spoke up. 

 

“How are you?” He pressed his shoulders against Thace’s. Hoping to get an honest answer.

 

“I feel like shit.” and there it was. Thaces expression lost all kind of happiness and it all was swept away by a wave of hurt and shame. Ulaz thought that he could see tears in Thace’s eyes. 

 

“Me too,” Ulaz responded with pure honesty. Knowing that lying wouldn't do him any good. 

 

“Why did we say yes to this again?” Ulaz felt Thace’s hand tightened around his own and he relaxed a little more again. Ulaz wanted to do nothing else but to just hold Thace, to be sitting in the headquarters of the Blade. He wanted to cuddle up next to him after a hard day of training or make breakfast for the both of them. He wanted to be able to relax and love, but those things weren’t really allowed here. Especially with the opportunities, it opened for them that they pretended to not be together while they were here. It didn’t really open any doors for Ulaz, especially because he didn’t need to get to rise higher in the ranks, but for Thace it opened doors, not only was he highly attractive in their species, but he also knew how to use other people’s attraction to him to his advantage. He flirted, but he hated it. He didn’t go any further than an occasional kiss if it was highly needed. Every time he did kiss someone, he felt an aching pain in his gut, even though Ulaz had suggested that he should do it. It had been his idea after all.

 

They were loyal to each other, had been for years. They knew that they couldn’t live without each other and they weren’t going to destroy this. 

 

Ulaz pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a small, “I don’t know.” 

 

Thace kept his gaze fixed on the prisoner. “The work isn’t even the worst part. I don’t mind doing it. I don’t mind being horrible for some moments if it’s for freeing the universe from Zarkon.” 

Ulaz watched Thace’s features turn sad, his big fluffy ears fall and a single tear making its way down his cheek. He resisted the urge to wipe it away. 

 

“The worst part is having you so close to me, but not being allowed to touch or hold you. The worst part is watching you frown at every insane assignment that Haggar gives you. The worst part is watching you slowly distance yourself from all of this, just to not turn insane,” Thace’s words got softer and quieter in the end of the sentence. He didn’t want to say it, but it was the truth. 

 

Ulaz put his hand on Thace’s cheek and smiled at him. “It makes me crazy, that is true. But it isn’t for the reason that you think. I have the feeling that I’m going mad. All this pain-” his eyes flickered to the man beside them on the table. “-All this suffering. Without you near it’s harder than I imagined. I was always fine if it was a single mission, but seeing you. Walking around, not being able to talk to you. You being so high up that if they found you, they would not hesitate to kill you and all of those below you. The thought of losing you, just hurts so much, that I’m not sure that I would be able to take it.” 

 

Thace turned so he was fully facing Ulaz. He quickly checked the ceiling for cameras, before leaning closer. “Kiss me-” Ulaz eyes widened but he smiled. “-Before I fucking lose my mind.” Ulaz didn’t have to be told twice. He leaned in, his hand finding its way to the back of Thace’s neck.  Scratching the back of his neck lightly. Thace moaned, connecting their lips softly. They moved their lips in perfect synchronisation. Feeling the years of experience in helping the other stay calm. 

 

Thace dug his teeth into Ulaz’s bottom lip, which drew a moan out of his partner's lips. They wanted to lose themselves in the feeling of each other. They were content, finally being together again, but it didn’t last long. 

 

The prisoner on the table let out a long groan. It sounded pained, a man with a shattered sense of self. A man that didn’t want to be there anymore, a man that could die each moment and be alright with it.

 

Thace and Ulaz separated quickly so that Ulaz could go and check the man’s vitals. While he did so, he could feel Thace’s eyes on him. Burning themselves into his back. He liked the familiar and calming presence of his husband. He knew that Thace couldn’t stay long, but soon they would both be taking away. Ulaz would have to flee, because of this man. He had to save him. He knew he did. 

 

Thace would be deployed to a different Galra fighter, which would then be taken over by the Blade so that he would have some time away from all of this. But they still had a lot of things to do before they would be allowed to take a time out.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Ulaz had left around two months before Thace. The last part of Thace’s mission went by quickly and he found himself in Kolivan’s office sooner than expected. He had been in the headquarters for half a day now and he still hadn’t been able to leave Kollivan or Antok. He wanted to do nothing else but run to their small living quarters to tackle Ulaz into a long needed hug. But instead of doing that he had been sitting on a chair, talking about his mission for the last three hours.  His leg was shaking under the table, his hand was playing with the fabric of his pants. 

 

He couldn’t concentrate, he had given them all the information he had and he really didn’t care about talking about it for hours. He knew that Ulaz was close and not just that, they were home. They were allowed to show their love, they were allowed to hold each other. They were allowed to be happy. 

 

“-Information about Voltron trying to take on Zarkon alone is not good. We need to find a way to contact them.” Kolivan pulled Thace out of his thoughts about Ulaz when he raised his voice. 

 

“Are we sure that we can form an alliance with Voltron?” Antok said quickly. Thace wiped his face and nodded. 

 

“Yes, I have seen them take on Galra fleets, they are more than capable to assist us in this fight,” he cut into the discussion. He had been quiet for most of it. He was tired, exhausted and the only thing he wanted to do is to go to his room and see Ulaz before falling asleep in his arms. 

 

“We need to figure out a way to contact them.” Kolivan looked to Thace and saw how uneasy he was. How his face was in a constant state of annoyment. He stood up quickly, shooting Thace a smile. “But we will do that tomorrow. Thace, you are dismissed.” 

 

He didn’t need to hear that twice. “Thank you, sir,” he quickly said, before jumping up and almost running out of the door. He took a quick right turn and ran down towards the living quarters. He ran past their room and further down towards the hospital wing of the ship. 

 

He opened the door and the smell of disinfectant and blood came to his nose. He scrunched up his nose at the all too familiar smell. 

 

The hospital wing was fairly empty, so he walked through it to the back to the laboratories. Either Ulaz was in the middle of a surgery or he was working on blood samples. To Thace’s luck, he was doing the latter. 

 

He walked through the big glass doors and stayed quiet. Ulaz didn’t look up, his eyes fixed onto something under the microscope. 

 

“Ezra? Would you mind handing me the second sample?” Ulaz said, not moving from his current position. A big smile spread on Thace’s face. 

 

“Do you mind if I do it instead of her?” He grinned out and he could have sworn that he never saw anyone stand up so fast. Ulaz was standing in front of him and pulled him into a hug. It was bone crushing, but Thace relaxed into it. His face in Ulaz’s shoulder. 

 

“I thought you were going to come later?” Ulaz mumbled into Thace’s neck, still holding him close. 

  
  


“Well, plans change;” Thace only smiled, separating them carefully. He put his hand on Ulaz’s cheek and caressed it with his thumb, drawing small circles and smiling happily. He took in the sight of his husband. The lilac skin, the white hair, the pointy ears. God, he was gorgeous, but something was wrong. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was messy. 

 

“I missed you,” Ulaz smiled out. 

 

“Why haven’t you been sleeping?” Thace interrogated. The taller man looked to the ground, trying to move out of Thace’s gaze. “Ulaz, answer me,” he pushed.

 

“Our bed is so big without you,” Ulaz whispered.  “I’ve been mostly sleeping here,” he admitted, pointing at a hospital table. There was a small pillow lying on it and a thin blanket. 

Thace shook his head and took Ulaz’s hand. 

 

“Let’s go and sleep,” he smiled. It wasn’t even six pm, but he knew that Ulaz must be as exhausted as he was because he nodded.

 

“Let me finish my research and then we can go,” he said but yawned heavily right after, so Thace shook his head.

 

“No. Ezra can do it for you. You are going to sleep.” Thace said, walking out of the room. He knew that Ulaz was going to follow him. He just knew.

 

As he started to make his way towards their room, he heard heavy footsteps and felt how Ulaz’s hand intertwined itself with his. “She was kind of upset that she didn’t get to meet you,” he mumbled, squeezing Thace’s hand lovingly.

 

“It’s not like I will leave tomorrow, so you don’t have to worry about that. I’ll just say Hello to her tomorrow.”

 

“I hope you will, she is scary when she’s upset-” That made Thace laugh, it made him laugh loudly, holding his stomach with his free hand. 

 

“Beware Ulaz. A man that has lived his whole life through a horrible war, where he could have died every day. A man that works as a spy, getting into the system of one of the most terrifying people in the universe, who is afraid of his lab assistant.” Thace used his announcer voice, one that he only used when he and Ulaz were alone. One that wasn’t filled with the sadness that they had endured over their lives. 

 

“You are the most obnoxiously cute person that I know and I hate you with every bone in my goddamn body,” Ulaz smiled out happily. 

 

Thace only smiled and continued on, pulling Ulaz into their room. As soon as the door was closed Thace’s lips were on Ulaz’s. But the kiss was different than the one they shared in the Galra ship, this one was needy, desperate. 

 

Ulaz leaned into the kiss, his hands settling on Thace’s waist. They both had missed this horribly, the intimacy, the ability to show their love as much as they wanted to. Thace’s hands travelled to the small of Ulaz’s back and slowly made their way up, feeling the muscles under the lab coat. 

 

“I missed you,” Thace breathed out when they separated to breathe. Ulaz pulled Thace closer to him. 

 

“I missed you too,” Ulaz smiled and kissed Thace again. Their long kisses were interrupted by a big yawn coming from Ulaz. He wanted to apologise, but Thace only smiled. Helping Ulaz take his lab coat off and change into comfy clothes. 

 

“I never want to lose you,” Ulaz breathed out, he was lying behind Thace, spooning the smaller soldier and listening to his breathing to calm himself. 

 

“You won't,” Thace smiled and with that, they fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Only a few months later, Thace returned to the main hub. He had just completed his mission and he couldn’t wait to run off to the living quarters again. He hadn’t heard from Ulaz for a while, not like that was unusual. Sometimes there was just no time to update the other on everything, so they got accustomed to not hearing from the other. 

 

As the meeting got to an end, Thace got giddier. He wanted to wish the smile off of his face but he couldn’t. He jumped up immediately as Kolivan said that they would discuss more tomorrow.

 

He was almost out of the door as his superior started speaking up again. “Thace, would you mind staying for a few moments?” The man in question stopped in his tracks and as soon as everyone else was gone, Kolivan walked up to the window, looking out to the two black holes. Thace walked up next to him. Just as he wanted to start speaking Kolivan took a deep breath and started talking. 

 

“Our job holds many responsibilities and dangers. I know that you are aware of that. And Ulaz knew that better than everyone else,” Kolivan’s voice was steady, strong. Thace could feel a knot in his stomach, slowly growing bigger. 

 

“I know sir,” He managed to choke out.

 

“Thace, I-” He stopped himself. He flicked his hand and a screen appeared on the window. “There is something I need to show you.” A small window opened itself. 

 

Thace took a step forward as the first picture of the video loaded. It was Ulaz, sitting in a small space shuttle. Kolivan started to walk to the door. Before he walked out, he turned to Thace. “I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice still strong, but soft, caring. He flicked his wrist and the video started, he walked out immediately after.

 

Now it was only Thace and the face of the one person that he loved more than anything else in the universe. He stepped closer to the screen and lifted his hand, trying to touch him, but before his hand reached the screen Ulaz started speaking.

 

_ “Hello Thace, when you hear this, wait, if you ever hear this. I am dead.”  _

 

Thace’s eyes turned wide, it felt like he was punched in the gut repeatedly. He didn’t know what to say or do, so he decided to watch Ulaz, his beautiful determined face. He watched how Ulaz reached to his neck, pulling the necklace with his wedding ring out from under his armour and twisting it in his left hand. Thace sub consciously followed his movements until he held his wedding ring in his hand. 

 

Ulaz face scrunched up and he let out a tearful chuckle, wiping a tear from his eyes.

 

_ “Funny isn’t it? After all these years of fighting, of rescuing. I’m sacrificing myself.”  _

 

Thace could hear that Ulaz took a shaky breath. Slowly tears made their way down Thace’s face. He didn’t bother to wipe them away. He watched Ulaz face on the screen, those all too familiar facial features, twisted in the pain of knowing that he would lose the one person that he cared about. He saw how the golden band around Ulaz neck reflected some lights outside of his field of vision. 

 

_ “Thace, I need you to know that in all of this darkness, you were always my light. The one thing that kept me going, kept me fighting. _ ” 

 

Thace could hear that Ulaz was crying, but he was still smiling. He was smiling, because he knew that Thace couldn’t handle Ulaz falling apart right now. Ulaz had always been the strong one. 

 

_ “I just wanted you to be safe. I didn’t care about anything else. I wanted the universe to be safe for you, so you could live a happy life when I’m gone. I guess I didn’t make it.”  _

 

“I wouldn’t be happy without you” Thace heard himself mumble. Ulaz pulled out an old photograph and looked at it. His smile suddenly got wider and he let out a content sigh. He turned the picture to the camera and Thace smiled. It was a picture of them, both in their armour, their right hand linked together and their foreheads touching. Both of them had their eyes closed. 

 

_ “On this day, you promised me something. You looked at me and you promised-”  _

 

“That whatever happens, my atoms will always find yours in this mess of a universe,” Thace said it in perfect synchronisation with Ulaz on the screen. 

 

_ “I love you, god I love you so much. And I’m so, so sorry. I - Please be careful - Defeat the galra empire, stay safe my love. I will see you, as soon as the universe allows me to see you again.” _

 

The recording stopped with a loud bang. Thace didn’t move. Even though the video had stopped, his eyes were fixed on the screen. “I love you too,” Thace whispered. He heard Kolivan enter, but he didn’t say anything. He just walked up to Thace and stood next to him.

 

“He was always the best we had,” his voice was quiet and soft and Thace could only nod. 

 

“He was.” Thace agreed. They didn’t say anything for a few moment, before Thace spoke up, “I will go to our room.” 

 

Kolivan let him leave and that night, Thace fell asleep with his nose buried in Ulaz’s pillow, trying to inhale the last bit of his scent that still lingered.

 

* * *

  
  


Keith ran up to Thace. Stopping a few feet in front of him. “I’m not going to leave you!”

 

“You must. I will shut down the system,” Thace’s voice was calm, collected. Maybe even a little annoyed at the young paladin trying to convince him to leave with him. “Paladin, this is where my journey ends, but as a member of Voltron, you have a bigger mission. You must understand that.” 

 

Keith looked at the ground, contemplating what to say, while everything around them started to fall apart. “I was an honour to meet you,” he said quietly, looking up to Thace. Just as he finished his sentence, the barricade at the door blew up. Both of the men turned to the sound of the explosion, but it was Thace that reinitiated eye contact. 

 

“Go! Now!” He yelled to Keith and Keith obliged, handing Thace the gun, before jumping to the other exit.  

Thace hid behind the hub, shooting the centuries as they came. When the main hub suddenly starting to flicker and overload, Thace felt a smile spread on his lips.

 

He closed his eyes and saw Ulaz smiling at him happily. “I will find you, I always do,” Thace mumbled as the hub exploded. 

 

Even in death, they found each other. It was almost like their atoms were from the same star. They always pulled them back together. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated  
> Feedback and constructive criticism are always appreciated as well!
> 
> If you enjoyed it, please consider buying me a [coffee](http://ko-fi.com/pissoffimrad)


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